You Give and Take Away

Zoe Elise!!

2009-09-03T04:56:00.000-07:00

I have a new little niece and I could not be more happier!! What a cutie she is. Tim's sister, Libby, had Zoe last Saturday after a very long labor that ended in a c-section. Zoe came home last night and is doing great! The girls have not got to hold her yet or spend time with her because they have colds. (Great timing with the colds, they had not been sick in months!) They are bummed about it, but know they can when they are better. Grace is so thrilled Zoe is a girl! She wanted a girl cousin because she has a boy cousin! We hope Zoe and Affie will be good buddies!!

We leave tomorrow for my cousins wedding in Michigan. Our flight leaves at 8:45 tomorrow. I have a ton to do today, but my step-mom offered to take the girls after we finish school this morning! I am soooo thankful!!! Time ALONE to get things done!!! Praise the Lord! I don't have a lot of alone time anymore - so this is a real treat. Even if it is spent busting my butt to get ready!! :)

Been busy!

2009-08-13T18:33:00.000-07:00

Wow...it sure has been a long time since I have posted. We have been really busy with a ton of different things Tim has been off this week and we have been remolding the kitchen. I will post pictures of the before and after. We are almost done with it and we really like it.

Tonight is the open house for the school where we would have sent Gracie. We still have peace in our schooling decision and we praise God for that. Knowing the open house was tonight made me think it all through again. We start school on Monday and Gracie is getting excited! The schoolroom is almost ready and I think I am almost ready. God is good and I am so thankful for the peace and direction we have had in all of this.

More to come... :)

Friends....

2009-07-10T08:10:00.000-07:00

I usually look at the glass half empty. I tend to focus on the negative. I know, not the best thing for me. Tim and I went through some things with friendships about 3 years ago and it lasted for about 2 years and it still effects us today. It wass really hard and made us seek the Lord a lot and grow closer together. I still struggle and think about what we went through. I was in the shower this morning and felt like the Lord was reminding me of the wonderful friendships I do have. I decided to take some time to be thankful for the friends I do have. These will be in alphabetical order...not in order of importance!

Daun ~ I have known Daun for about 8 years now. We became good friends after Tim and I got married. We have watched our families grow with a total of 6 :) kids between us. She is one I can talk to about almost anything. She gets me and is there for me. She is always willing to help when I need help - like bed rest! I love having play dates with her and her boys. Our kids get along so well and it makes our friendship even stronger. Daun - Thanks for being an example of a Godly woman. Oh, and thanks for freaking out with me on our schooling decisions!! :)

Lynn ~ I have know Lynn since the day I was born. We may be sisters, but we are best friends as well. I am so blessed to have a sister and a sister I am friends with. We talk everyday....more than once a day, and I love that! We have been through a lot together....good and bad. I am glad she has been by my side even if she doesn't understand what I am going through. She is a wonderful aunt and sister-in-law. Lynn ~ wow....there is too much to say in a couple of sentences. Know I love you and thank God for what we have. I am truly blessed. My prayer is that my girls will have just what we have.

Misty ~ Not sure how many years I have known Misty. I was in our College and Career class at our church when I met her. We had a lot of fun time together back then! Although Misty moved away and I don't see her anywhere near as often as I would like, we just pick up where we left off. I love this about our friendship. Misty is real. What you see is what you get. I LOVE this about her. She is genuine and sincere. Misty - thanks for our friendship and who you are. You truly are like me in a lot of ways...and I like that! I love watching your family grow!

Mom ~ Yes, she is my Mom, but she is my other best friend. I don't need to give any background on how we know each other. I also talk to my Mom more than once a day, and love it! She truly is a Goldy women that I look up to. She is always there when I need advice, need a friend, need help...the list goes on and on. Mom - Thanks for raising Lynn and I like you did as a single parent. I know the Lord was guiding you every step of the way. Thanks for raising me in a Godly home where I watched you serve your God and obey Him. I serve Him today because of decisions you made.

Sarah ~ I have known Sarah since she was born. Sarah and I grew up next door to each other. We did EVERYTHING together - no joke!! I love the fact that Sarah knows so much about me. She gets me. I love the fact that we now attend the same church. I love our Wednesday nights where we "work" and talk. I think it is neat we are still friends and are now raising our families together. Sarah - thanks for all your years of friendship. I am truly blessed to have you in my life. You and your family hold a special place in my heart. God knew we needed all of you.

Rebecca ~ Becca and I grew up in the youth group together. We were inseparable. We just clicked from day one. I have so many memories with Becca. I wish she lived here, but am thankful that after all these years and the miles that separate us, we are still really good friends. I love our phone chats and love comparing our families. We are in the same stage of life and it is great to share that with her. Becca, you are a great wife and Mom and I appreciate that about you. I saw your marriage when I was out there and took note of some things I needed to change in my marriage. I am so happy you are loved by James and blessed with your cute family. Thanks for being such a dear friend to me.

Tim ~ My hubby! I have known Tim for 16 years. We truly started out as friends...in the youth group. We were not real close, but were friends. We then grew closer in College and Career. And then eventually I fell in love. He truly is at the top of my friend list. He really gets me and he really loves me in spite of my issues, and I have many. We love to spend time together even after a long day. I love going to bed with him and waking up with him. He is my soul mate. Timothy, thanks for not only being my husband, but my friend. Thanks for listening to my issues and helping me through them. You are the best friend a girl could ask for.

The Lord gives and takes - I believe that is what He does with friends. I need to keep my focus on what I do have and not what I had. I am truly blessed with these friends.

Our decision....

2009-07-08T10:28:00.000-07:00

Came easily after the pressure was off. Once that pressure was off it just fell into place. What fell into place you ask? Our schooling decision. We have peace.....peace that only comes from the Lord. In the fall, we will embark on a new journey - home schooling. Over the last couple of weeks it has been made clear to us that this is the direction we are to go. I am excited, thrilled, nervous and apprehensive. When Gracie was first born, it was a journey - a hard one that came with so much joy and and many blessings. But there were days (and still are) I wondered why God picked me to be a mother. I have a feeling this journey will be the same way. I just want what God has for our little family. I want to be in the center of His will. I am so blessed we have a decisions and are making preparations for the fall. We continue to see Gods hand in this decision. I am expecting to be molded and made more like Christ as we embark on this new journey.

Blessed

2009-06-17T14:26:00.000-07:00

Why is it that I question God and wonder what He is doing? He of course knows what He is doing. He knows my needs and my deepest desires. After having Avery, life seemed to be all about 3 little kids, laundry, food, and cleaning. It was not about me, Tim, and my relationship with God. I was also struggling because my hormones were all out of whack from having Avery. I had shots of progesterone when I was pregnant with her for a little over 24 weeks. The shots were stopped when I was 36 weeks pregnant with her. I then had her and my hormones never went back to normal. I didn't really realize it until a couple of months ago. I know I was feeling "different", but chalked it up to being a busy mom with 3 little ones. Long story short, I am now on medicine to regulate my hormones and am feeling MUCH better. What a difference! I was also in need of some me time and some time with God. I am now doing a Beth Moore Bible study through our church and I love it! It gets me out of the house and into the Word. My Mom and Sister offered to watch the girls one night a week for Tim and I to have a date night. Wow....this has been so nice. Just him and I, enjoying a quiet meal and being able to talk! Thank you Mom and Lynn for doing this for us. What a blessing it has been.

I decided to do our mentioning program at our church. They pair the younger women up with a mature lady. I met the lady I was paired up with and was excited to get to know her better. She had me and the girls over for lunch today. It was just what I needed. I had a really good time and have enjoyed getting to know her. She is so sweet and just loved on my kids.

With all of the changes I have mentioned, I feel like a new women. I am enjoying the summer with my kids, enjoying being a wife, and enjoying being me. I still have my moments where I want to pull my hair out and wonder which end is up. There are dishes in my sink, laundry piled up, things to be taken back to the store, and the list goes on and on.

I am blessed. Blessed to have an incredible husband. Blessed to have 3 darling little girls. Blessed to be a member of a wonderful church. Blessed to have a wonderful family. Blessed to worship and serve my Savior. I am blessed.

My curly headed little girl....

2009-05-16T17:27:00.000-07:00

....turned one today!! I can't believe a year ago today Avery Margaret was born. What a blessing she has been in this family. We got home this morning at 9:00 from our trip. Long story short, we were going to drive yesterday till we got home. We should have gotten home around 1:00 in the morning, but decided to stop 3 hours from home. There were really bad storms that we knew we were going to run into if we continued to drive. So, we woke up this morning, in the same clothes we went to bed in and got back on the road. We gave Avery her birthday gifts after we got unpacked. We then had a quiet dinner at home with the 5 of us. It was nice to sit and enjoy each other. She had her first sweet after dinner. We let her have a cupcake! She liked it at first and then decided it was better to just play with it. She was so cute!! We will be having her party next weekend, but it was nice to have a little celebration for her today.

Dear Avery,

To me, you are my Avery girl, my Affie, my Affers, and my Avery Margaret. You can light up a room from a mile away!! Out of all my girls, you smile the most and it takes nothing at all to get you to smile!! I love your curly hair and your big blue eyes. You have brought joy to this house. Your sisters love you to pieces. When you get up from a nap or in the morning, you look for them and then you give them the biggest smiles. They both think the world of you and love to look after you and "Mother" you. I love our Wednesday's alone. Just you and me...running errands and playing.

We named you after your great-Grandma and I often think of her when I look at you. The Lord knew she would never meet you. It saddens me, but I know she would love the fact that she was named after you. She would have loved to hold you and sing to you.

I rocked you to sleep tonight (you always fall asleep on your own in your bed), because I wanted time with you, I wanted to think about the last year, I wanted to tell you things I don't always tell you, I wanted to just hold you, love on you and kiss you. You fell asleep in my arms and I loved every moment of it! I then prayed and thanked God for you.

I thank God for you, Avery. You are a gift from above. I know the Lord has entrusted you to Daddy and I. I know it is our responsibility to raise you in a Godly way. I pray we will continue to do that. I know I have said this before, but I am often asked if we want a boy or if we wanted a boy when I was pregnant with you. The answer is a very firm NO. Daddy and I were thrilled to pieces to know you were a little girl. You are our little girl and we are more than thankful you are in our lives. You complete this family and we can't imagine you not being here.

Little Affie girl, know you Mama loves you! Happy Birthday!

Love,
Mommy

Going on Vacation

2009-05-07T11:31:00.000-07:00

I have not posted in a long time. It has been crazy around here. I may try and update from our vacation, but don't hold your breath! We are leaving tomorrow morning (middle of the night) around 3:00 to head out. Our prayer is the girls will sleep as we drive! We are meeting my Mom and Sister, Tim's Parents, and his two sisters and their families there. It should be a great week away. The Lord knows I need this vacation. His timing is perfect!

Praying for Stellan

2009-04-21T07:37:00.000-07:00

I have been following the story of Baby Stellan and am so burdened for this little guy. You can click on the picture of Stellan on the side of my blog and it will take you to his Mama's blog. He is having heart surgery right now. I pray for this little boy, pray for Dr. A. and pray for his Mom and Dad and family as they wait. This is a very risky surgery.

"As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you...." ~ Isaiah 66:13

Praying Stellan's Mama will know and feel this verse.

And yes, I am wearing my Orange!

Being real.....

2009-04-14T18:52:00.000-07:00

I often feel like I am to be normal and act as if I am okay with things. I for the most part am okay with things. I feel as a Christian I have Christ who can help me through things so should I be down? I can draw my strength from Him. I also feel like there are so many people who are going thru some really tough things. I mean really tough. My life is like a cake walk compared to theirs. I often am so burden for them and do pray for them. I tell myself, it could be worse. And trust me, I DO know it could be worse. But....I must be real. I am struggling. Not sure if it is hormones or what, but I am struggling.

There...I said it. Life is really good, but I am struggling. I am down and can't shake it. I know I will, but it doesn't feel like it tonight. I know a couple of Mom's who have 3 kids all the same age as mine. I find myself watching them and thinking - How do they do it? They are sooo busy. I just don't know how they do it. HELLOOOOOO......I am THAT Mom. I know Avery will be one soon, but I guess I am ready to admit it - It is really tough having 3 little ones under the age of 5 and I am not supermom. Don't get me wrong, a ton of joy comes with it and I would not trade it for anything, but wow....which end is up?? What day is it?? I have to do laundry again?? Didn't I just clean up this room? For real....you are asking if you can go to the bathroom??? GO!!! I think you get my point....it can be crazy around here. I know I will miss it when they are gone, but I just have to get this off of my chest and out in the open. I don't have it all together, my house is not clean, I have been short with the kids, and frankly my attitude sucks.

I know I will get past this little funk I am in. I will get back to enjoying my days and my kids. I just am not right now and I hope that is normal and okay.

So there it is....me being real. It isn't all roses in the Jackson household, but I do know it will be soon. I just need to work through some things and find a couple of quiet moments for me to spend with God. Not sure how or when, but I will.

Now back to your regularly scheduled program..... :)

The Red Door

2009-03-24T05:44:00.001-07:00

When my Mom and Dad built the house on Pierwood, they were trying to decided which lot they were going to build on. They drove around and noticed a white two-story with a red door. That red door stood out to my Mom and they decided to build next door. Little did we know what this would mean for our family. We became very close with the family behind the red door - The Leeseman's. Mom became friends with Julie and Lynn and I became friends with Sarah. Our families did everything together. They were like a second family to us. After my parent's got divorced, our families bonded more. Julie and chuck helped my Mom out in so many ways. We just all had a special bond. Julie passed away from cancer 3 years ago. She was like a second Mother to Lynn and I. It was hard to see Chuck and the kids go through this. I was thankful that I could walk that road with Sarah.

On Friday night, Sarah and Stacie (Sarah's older sister) and I were at a retreat given by our church. We were to room together that night. Stacie received a call that changed their lives. Their brother had passed away. I won't go into details out of respect for the family. I found myself in the middle of grief and there to walk the road with Sarah. When my parent's divorced, the Leeseman's were there for us in so many ways. It was my turn to be there for them. I never thought a friendship that started 30 years ago could be so strong. My heart hurts for Sarah. I want to take the pain away. I want to make it better for her. I can't. But, I can be there for her and pray for her and her family. I do know this - I watched Sarah lose her Mom. I watched her grieve. I watched her have to face such a tough thing. But, I watched her grieve with dignity and grace. Sarah has grown into a woman who loves her Lord and who serves Him no matter what she goes through. I have no doubt she will make it through this very difficult time. She will once again, turn to her Lord, her Savior and she will let Him heal her. She will also lean on her husband, Dad, Brother, and Sister. I have no doubt she will make it, but my heart still hurts for her.

Sarah - the Lord had a plan when that red door was painted. He knew our families would be knitted together 32 years ago. What an awesome God we serve. To think he orchestrated Friday night the way He did. I could be there for you - Just like your family had been there for us in the hard times we had. I consider it an honor to be your friend. May the peace and comfort of God's love be so Strong over these next couple of days. You know I love you and you know I am here for you.

Please keep the Leeseman, Wylde, and Fischer families in your prayers. The viewing is on Wednesday night and the funeral is on Thursday. They have a tough road ahead, but I know our Lord and Savior will be there every step of the way.

Peanuts....

2009-03-06T12:23:00.001-08:00

What is it with peanuts and our family?? I took Halle to the allergist today for her allergy testing and to talk to the Dr. about her asthma. Halle did exceptionally well with the testing. I remember when Grace had it done and it didn't go over so well for her. She cried through the entire process. Not Halle. She teared up a bit while they rubbed the things on her back. After the nurse left, she was nothing but laughs! She and I had the best time in the room waiting for the test to be over with. It is sad to say, but I obviously don't get many one-on-one moments with my girls. I do when we are at the Dr. or the hospital!!! I treasure these moments. I really treasure them with Halle. Halle is a very laid-back girl who plays well alone and doesn't "demand" a lot of my time or attention. Therefore, I feel she gets slided with the one-on-one time. Today was a fun day for me - her and I...laughing with her shirt off waiting for the test to be done! Moments I will not forget. I love our new Dr. and feel comfortable with the plan she has given us. I won't go into details here...too boring. Halle was tested for all kinds of allergies including food. Grace has a serve peanut allergy. I have not given Halle any kinds of nuts because 1. - it is just easier to not with Grace and 2. - There was a higher chance Halle could be allergic too. Well, she is! I guess I shouldn't be surprised! We now will have an epi pen for her as well!! I am okay with all of this, because we have lived this way for so long with Grace. I am glad we made the decision to not give Halle nuts/peanuts up to this point. We avoided one ER trip!!!

First Haircut

2009-02-24T19:15:00.000-08:00

Do you think I waited long enough???

There is just something about that first haircut! I know she needed it, but I just wasn't ready! I finally decided it was time because it was in her face all the time! I was feeling really bad for her. I can't put bows in her hair because she pulls them out and thinks they are snacks! She did really well with her first haircut and I am really glad we took her. Her are some pictures of her being a big girl! This is 2 days shy of her 9 month birthday!

And here is the after picture!

Valentine's Day

2009-02-24T18:54:00.000-08:00

My Dad called and wanted to take the girls out to lunch on Valentine's Day. He said they could wear dresses and he would take them to Red Robin. The girls were thrilled to go!! They couldn't wait to get ready for their "date". Here they are all dressed up and ready to go!

The girls had a great time and came home with flowers. They were so happy!! They couldn't wait to get them in water!! Thanks PaPa for making their Valentine's Day special!

Stress and Pressure

2009-02-18T12:35:00.000-08:00

I haven't posted in a long time because my mind has been elsewhere. I guess I need to back up and explain to get you to understand these last couple of days. When Tim and I had Grace we started talking about homeschooling. We wanted it as an option when the time came. It was at the top of our list. I was more okay with it than Tim, but he too liked the idea. Last year, I started thinking about it again and for many reasons Tim and I decided it was not where the Lord was leading us. We decided to put Grace in preschool. We started our search for our choices for schooling for Grace. I looked into a bunch of different schools and ended up really liking Firm Foundations. It is at our church and it a smaller school with good curriculum. We were excited about it and were praying about it. Enrollment stared on Monday of this week. Tim and I started talking about it a month ago and really wanted to make sure this is what we wanted to do. Three weeks ago, I ran downstairs to get something and noticed the two school desks we had. We had bought both of them from a church for $5. We bought them 2 years ago thinking we would home school. Here I was staring at them. I have seen them before in the basement (since deciding not to home school), but they for some reason were saying to me..."are you sure about your home school decision?". I ignored it and moved on with life. I then found myself e-mailing friends about homeschooling - asking questions. I then started research on the Internet. I couldn't get it out of my mind. This brings us to last weekend.

Tim and I talk and decide homeschooling is a option and it is at the top of the list now. We know we have to make our decision by Monday morning. We think, talk and pray about it all weekend. Going back and forth on what we are going to do. On Sunday night, we sit down for our last talk and Tim says to me - I really feel home school is best for our family and I am really excited about it. I too agreed with him, but was not as excited, because I was scared! We went to bed with peace and was thankful for answered prayer.

I get up on Monday morning and start taking care of the kids and I wigged, I flipped, I freaked, I became a basket case. Not sure I could do it and questioning our decision. I called Tim...he still has peace and was excited about our decision. Me....not so much. We talk off an on all day about it and I am in tears half the day. We get the kids in bed and revisit the subject. We write out the pros and cons of both options. After much dicission, we decide to put her in Firm Foundations. I am numb at this point and have no opinion and Tim knows that. He makes the decision that he feels is best. I support him. On Tuesday morning I told him I would go up to the school and enroll her, but if I felt sick about it, I wasn't. He agreed. I got up there had peace and enrolled her. I thought this was the end of our schooling saga. I should know better...right?

I leave the building with peace, but still kind of numb. I was really okay with her going there. It is a great school and she will be in the same class as her best friend. I get home, get lunch on the table and the girls are busy eating and talking. I find my mind back on homeschooling. Why, Lord??? Why?? Such a roller coaster ride...I can't go up and down anymore. I call Tim and explain I have peace - I am okay with our decision, but still am thinking about homeschooling...why? He understood my concerns and said he was not mad because he too likes the idea of homeschooling.

So this brings us to today. She is still enrolled at the school and I am still okay with it. I will say this, I will be doing research on homeschooling and we are still praying if it is for us. Tim and I both feel like the decision was so deep and so heavy. I wigged, freaked, flipped out and wanted to run from homeschooling because I didn't have all my information and was not comfortable with it all. I also felt so much pressure to make such a big decision with such a short time frame. Deep in my heart of hearts I really do think we will home school. I don't understand why that all took place. I do know Tim and I have grown closer through it. I am amazed at how God has changed Tim's heart and he was so ready to HS and I was the one running!

So stay tuned and pray we have wisdom as to what is right for this family. I really am okay with either one...and so is Tim!

In all of this I am reminded ~ "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

The New Bed and Crawling

2009-01-31T19:14:00.000-08:00

A couple of weeks ago, Halle came to me and wanted to know why she was the only one who did not have a big girl bed in the house. Halle sleeps in a toddler bed and Grace in a twin. My heart sank. I felt so bad for her. She told me she wanted a big girl bed. I knew right then I was going to start looking for a bed for her. Tim and I tossed around the idea of bunk beds, and for many reasons decided they were not for us. So, the choices were a twin for Halle or a full for both of them to sleep in. I was leaning towards the twin for Halle, but after measuring everything in their room, the twin would fit, but it would look really awkward in there. To top it off we wouldn't have been able to leave the dresser in there. The room is really big, but with the way the door, window, and closet are placed there are not many options to work with. All that being said, we decided to go with the full bed. They have slept in a full bed before, and did really well with it. We figure if it doesn't work, that bed will eventually go in the spare room down stairs. Tim picked up the mattresses today, but the headboard and footboard are not in yet. Tonight is their first night in their bed together. I can tell Halle feels like a big girl. That makes me so happy! They are in there laughing and talking as I type this. It brings joy to my soul after a long day today!! Here are some pictures of them before we turned the lights off. And now, one of my big Halle girl!! So happy to be in her big girl bed!

I also wanted to add that Avery started crawling today. Today is my Mom's birthday. What a nice treat for my Mom. Avery showed off her new skill tonight for Mom as we celebrated her birthday. I know my Mom missed celebrating her birthday with her Mom today, but what an awesome remembrance of the Lord giving and taking away. Once again I am reminded of my Grandma through Avery Margaret!

Halle is 3!!

2009-01-28T19:18:00.000-08:00

Halle turned 3 last Thursday. It was so fun to watch her and listen to her. She understood what was going on and was excited to have a birthday. She was so cute with all of it. For those of you who know Halle, she does not like to be the center of attention. She has gotten better with situations that have a lot of people involved or anything having to do with her. She handled this birthday very well. To top it all off, the poor girl was sick for her party. She still did good with it all! Halle is my sweet little girl who plays good alone and loves to laugh. She really is the ham in our family. I connect with her in a different way and love her for who she is. She often gets lost in the shuffle and I try to be aware of this happening . She really is content to not be made over. So opposite of our first-born! :)

To My Halle Girl,

You are 3!!! Wow - I remember when you were born just like it was yesterday. We were thrilled to find out you were a girl. We knew you and Gracie would be good friends and have tons of fun with each other. I love my sister and am thankful for her. I wanted a sister for Gracie, so you and her could share the same thing Lynn and I have. It is so fun to watch you and her together.

You were in the NICU after you were born and it broke my heart to see you in there. It was a very difficult thing to go through, but we were so happy and blessed to know you would be fine. You came home a week later.

You are my little girl and I love your personality and the way you love life. You are content to be alone and play alone. You sit back and take it all in. I love this about you. You love to laugh and you know how to make me laugh, but you really know how to make Avery laugh. It is so sweet to watch you play with her and make her laugh. You are a great big sister to her!

Daddy and I love you so much. Thank you for the joy and laughter you bring to this home. I thank God for you and pray that you will seek after Him and desire Him with your whole heart. I also pray Daddy and I can be the parents we are supposed to be.

I love you, Halle girl!

Cast and Pins

2009-01-20T06:04:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I took Gracie to the Dr. to have her cast removed and have another x-ray. If the bone was healed, she was done with the cast and the pins would be removed. If it was not healed, she would have had another cast put on. I am not good with medical stuff...at all. I don't pass out, but I just can't handle it. My Dad came with me to be the strong one. I knew I couldn't hold her hand while he pulled long pins out of her bone. I Just couldn't be the strong one.

They took the old cast off and took her for an x-ray. The pins had started to work their way out of her arm already. Which made me not want to look at it!! After the Dr. looked at the x-ray he told us the good news - it was completely healed! Praise the Lord!!! He said it was one of the fastest healing he has ever seen! Gracie was very excited, but knew it was time for the pins to come out. My Dad held her hand and helped her through it while her weak-kneed mother sat in a chair! She cried some as they come out, but did really well. The Dr. asked her if he should pitch the pins or did she want to keep them? In my mind I am saying....keep them?????...for real??? What in the heck would we do with them? I then said to myself, surely she will say "pitch". Not so much. She wanted to keep them. The Dr. put them in a little bag and handed them to me. Dad and I looked at each other and laughed. What am I going to do with these, put them in her scrapbook???

Many people were praying for Grace's arm yesterday. Praying that it would be healed and that she would not have to have another cast put on. What an awesome thing it was to hear she was done and this part of our life was behind us. Grace was a trooper though it all, from start to finish. Grace is full of drama and Tim and I thought these last 6 weeks would have been a long 6 weeks. She surprised us and did really well with it and there wasn't much drama. I am shocked at how well it all went.

After the Dr.'s appointment I took Grace to Build-A-Bear. She has been saving her money to buy a dog that she had her eye on. She still needed to save some more money, but decided she had saved enough and thought she deserved it after all she went through. I told her where I was taking her and why. She was so excited. She walked right in to the store, went right over to the dogs and picked out her new friend.

Meet Francis.....

Without the cast.....

Catching up

2009-01-06T11:11:00.001-08:00

It has been a busy last couple of weeks. After the broken arm, we had to call 911 for Halle (on Christmas Eve night)! She woke up with croup and after doing all you can do for croup, her lips were turning blue and she was struggling to breath. We went the the ER in the ambulance and left the ER at 3:00 on Christmas morning. Our Christmas plans had to change because not only were we exhausted, but she was contagious. In the end, our Christmas was as good as it could have been. Tim and I just don't remember much of it because we were in a fog and very tired!

Tim was off for 18 days and we all enjoyed him being home. We really didn't get much done or do much, but it was nice to just be together as a family. It was hard on Monday for all of us as he went back to work. This past weekend we went to Geneva to visit my Dad's side of the family. We had a really good time and the girls loved it. It was nice to see family and get caught up.

I came home from our weekend away to a very nice surprise. A friend of my Mom's wanted to bless us with some food and deep clean our house. She felt burdened for us and all we have gone through the last couple of weeks. While we were in Geneva she came over along with my Mom and a good friend of the family and they deep cleaned the house, cleaned the fridge, organized the pantry, cleaned the sheets, and had meals in the fridge/freezer. I just couldn't believe someone would want to bless me like that! On the way home from Geneva, I drove and Tim entertained the kids. I had a lot of time to think. I thought a lot about how dirty some things were in my house, how I felt behind, and how I was overwhelmed. What a blessing it was to walk in to this surprise! God reminded me that He loves me and blesses me when He knows I need it.

Broken arm and sickness

2008-12-11T05:36:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was quite the day. Everything started out normal. Tim went to work and Mimi Jackson came and picked up Grace and Halle. On Wednesday's she takes Grace to school and Halle back to her house. It is a day I have with Avery and I am able to get "caught" up. Mimi was still at our house and Tim calls and says he isn't feeling well and is coming home. First clue that the day is going to be a long one! Mimi leaves and Tim gets home and falls asleep on the couch. I won't go into details of his sickness, but lets just say it was not a fun one and he was in bed or the bathroom for the rest of the day. Mimi calls me at 12:30 and says we have had a little accident. Papa and the girls were playing nativity scene and he was being the camel. The girls were riding on the camel and they both fell off. Grace landed on her elbow and is in a lot of pain and can't move it. We decided to let her sleep a bit and see how it felt when she woke up. She woke up and was still in pain. I met them at the urgent care right by our house. I had just put Avery down for her nap, so I left her sleeping with Tim on the couch. We got Grace to the Urgent care and they did x-rays. Sure enough it is broken. they put a splint on it and then put it in a sling. The referred us to an Orthopedic Dr. We go this morning to see where we go from here. I am praying she does not need surgery. To top of the day, Grace was supposed to sing at her preschool last night. She was determined to go. So I came home and got her ready, me ready and Avery ready. I left Tim in bed and headed to his parents. I got Halle ready over there and then had dinner. Grace was in some pain, but was going to sing! She knew family was coming to watch her and she was still excited. She did sing and she did a good job. She didn't smile much, but can you blame her? We stayed for cookies afterwards and she was a trooper. The nurse told me she had to sleep with me last night. I think Grace enjoyed that. We put
Daddy on the couch and Grace and I crawled in our bed (first changing our sheets not to get what Daddy had!). She slept pretty good last night considering. I didn't, but that is okay. I was just so happy she did! Tim is feeling much better this morning and we are praying Grace's appointment goes well today. When It rains it pours. I just kept telling myself - it could be worse. I knew Tim would get better and Grace's arm will heal. I didn't handle it the best all day, but tried hard to keep my focus. My prayer is now that our family won't get what Tim had and of course, for Grace's arm.

I tell you, I never knew being a mother could be so much fun! :) It is times like these I often wonder why God chose me to raise these little ones. I am then reminded He only gives us what we can handle. He knew I could handle yesterday. To be honest, I couldn't have done it without the Lord by my side!

Thankfulness

2008-11-28T11:51:00.001-08:00

I know I am a day late, but I have an excuse. I had Thanksgiving at my house yesterday and was very busy. I was going to do this last night and fell asleep on the couch!

I have spent the last couple of days thinking about all I have to be thankful for. My list goes on and on and on. I feel bad even listing the things I am thankful for because there is so much I won't be able to mention. But, I will try and list the things that come to mind.

* My relationship with the Lord ~ I have been working through some things in my life this past year and have deepened my relationship with the Lord. I have found my need for Him is deep. I can't go through my day without Him. Trying to keep up with the kids, the house, the activities, the shopping, and so forth - I can't do it without Him. I also struggle with fear in my life. If I don't lean on Him to help me when I become fearful, I become a mess. I am so thankful He is there for me and cares for me!

* My husband~ I am SO thankful for Tim and the relationship we have. What a blessing he is to me. We are in this together and I am so thankful for that. He is involved with my life and all that I have going on. I love him so much and feel so blessed for the marriage we have.

* My church ~ After a long road of church stuff, we finally have found a home. We are settled and are very thankful for a solid Church with a solid staff. We love Pastor Kenny and the way he delivers the word of God. Grace and Halle are adjusted and like their classes. We are thankful for the opportunity to direct a small group. We are thankful for the couples that are in the class. God is good!

* My family ~ Both of our families are in town and it is such a blessing to us. They are a huge help to us and we are thankful that our kids know all of their grandparents really well.

* My friends ~ I have a couple friends who know me really well and who are there for me no matter what. They pray for me, encourage me, laugh with me, and cry with me. For this I am thankful. I don't have many deep friendships, but the ones I have, I cherish.

* My kids ~ I am thankful for the way they change me. It didn't take me long to realize that they pick up and everything! Good things and bad things! It makes me reevaluate the way I act and respond. For this I am thankful.

* People who have influenced me ~ On Wednesday night our Pastor encouraged us to thank God for the people who have helped us grow in our lives. It made me think of all the people who have influenced me. I thanked God for a long list of people - I am thankful for these people!

There is so much more to list, but time is short. I am not sure who all reads my blog, but I am thankful for the ones who have helped me grow, who love me, who encourage me, and who pray for me.

ER

2008-11-12T11:04:00.001-08:00

So, do you think we have been to the ER a couple times too many???

I was making dinner and the girls were very busy playing in Avery's room. Grace came to me and asked for tape. I gave it to her not knowing what they were doing. I later went back to Avery's room, knocked on the door and entered after I was told to do so. Grace was taking care of "sick" Halle. An IV had to be administered and was properly done so.

The "nurse" then went over to her station to write everything down in the chart.

She then went back to cover the patient and check on her. She was such a good nurse! She even let Halle hold her baby!

Now back to the real world.....I had to take Grace to the ER in the middle of the night. She woke up and was struggling to breath and had a cough that sounded like a barking seal. I knew it was croup from the sound of it, but knew she needed help. They gave her medicine in the ER and we were sent home. She is much better and is now playing the part of the nurse and not that patient!!

Gracie and Daddy time

2008-11-10T20:08:00.000-08:00

(Check out the 2 new posts below. I had some time to get caught up!)

Grace came up with the idea to roast marshmallows. She was so excited to be able to do this in the family room! She chattered away the entire time about how fun it was. I am so glad I grabbed the camera!

Grandpa

2008-11-10T20:02:00.001-08:00

I just had to share these two pictures. I am so blessed that my Grandpa could be at Grace's party. These are moments I will never forget!

Gracie turns 5

2008-11-10T19:27:00.000-08:00

My little girl turned 5 on Friday. Wow! I am still trying to take it in. Not sure where the 5 years went! I wrote Gracie a letter when she turned one, that I will give her one day. I pulled it out the night before her birthday and read it. Things were so simple then and I loved spending time with this short, chubby little girl. I loved spending all my time with her and it was just her and I. I miss those days, but I love what we have now. We have a relationship that is much deeper and I know her so much more. Grace has a strong personality and knows what she wants. At times that can be hard to work with, and other times it is nice to know what she is thinking and why. For the most part Grace is very caring and motherly. She is always worried about others and making sure they are doing what they should be doing (in a loving way). She loves life and loves to be busy. She can't really sit still (I think many would agree she gets this from me). She loves to be where the action is. I love this about her!!

We had a party for her on Friday night and it went really well. She loved every minute of it and couldn't fall asleep till 11:oo that night. She was wide awake at 6:30, ready to play with all her new things!

Dear Gracie,

I can't believe you are 5 now. Wow, have you grown. I remember when I was pregnant with you and Daddy and I were not sure what was up ahead. We didn't know if you would be a boy or a girl. Our lives changed on November 7, 2003. We had a new little girl that we fell in love with. It was all so new to us. We had so much to learn. We didn't have to learn how to love you though. That came so naturally to us. We have enjoyed watching you grow and learn. You are a smart little girl who knows what she wants. I love watching you learn and figure things out. I love our alone time together. I love taking you to Cubbies and hearing all about it as we drive home. I love going shopping with you. I love it when I pick you up from preschool and run to me. I love watching you interact with Halle. I love how you help with Avery and love on her. I love watching you love your Daddy. I love the relationship you have with him.

Thank you for loving me and forgiving me when I have not been the best Mommy. Thank you for being a great big sister to Halle and Avery. Thank you for the joy you bring to this family.

I thank God for you and pray that you will seek after Him and desire Him with your whole heart. I also pray Daddy and I can be the parents we are supposed to be.

I love you Gracie Girl!

My husband

2008-10-27T16:10:00.000-07:00

I saw this on another blog that I read and I thought I would try it. These are 10 of my husband's favorite things.

1.) His Savior ~ Tim loves the Lord and loves to serve Him. I am so blessed that we both love the Lord and love to serve together. It makes our marriage stronger.

2.) Me/Us ~ Tim is committed to me and our relationship. For this I am thankful and blessed. We love being together and spending time together. He knows my days are busy with 3 little ones, and he makes sure I have time for myself. He is always encouraging me to get out of the house while he watches the girls. We are more then husband and wife - we are soul mates and best friends.

3.) His girls ~ Tim LOVES his little girls! I know Tim's heart and he was thrilled to learn Avery was a girl! He never had/has to have a boy. He wouldn't have minded it, but said he always saw himself with girls. He is so good with them and is so committed to them. What a blessing.

4.) Sports ~ Tim loves sports!! I love to watch him as he watches sports!! He can make any game look good! I love to sit and watch a baseball game with him.

5.) Basement ~ I know, odd title, but he is in the process of finishing our basement. He loves to work on it. I have enjoyed watching him as he has gone through the process. I am so proud of him and the work he has done. We both can't wait for it to be done - or maybe that is just me!

6.) Guitar ~ He loves to play his guitar! I gave him lessons for a present when we got married. I am amazed at how well he plays for only having a couple of lessons. He used to play for church and loved it. My prayer is that he can do it again one day.

7.) Hitting golf balls ~ Another odd one, but he loves to go outside and hit golf balls around in our yard. If he is ever missing from the house I just look out the window and find a ball whizzing by!

8.) Home Depot!! ~ He loves this place! He takes the girls on dates there! It is his home away from home.

9.) Summer ~ We both love summer and being outside in the sun. He loves the sun, sand and water.

10.) Life ~ Tim loves life and is a very optimistic person. He doesn't complain much and is very fun to be with. He is the love of my life and I want the world to know that! I love you, Timothy!

The girls.

2008-10-13T08:20:00.000-07:00

I just had to share. Grace and Halle were playing on the kitchen floor last night. I was busy cleaning up the kitchen. I hear Grace say to Halle "Aren't we having so much fun?" Halle doesn't respond. They play a little more and then Halle says " I love you, Grace" Grace says, "Since you said you love me, then I love you!" I love moments like these. It just makes me realize they do love each other and they do have fun playing together. I can't wait for Avery to join in on their fun and conversations. I went in their room last night to put something away. They were both in bed, tucked in. They were sitting up and singing "If you're Happy and You Know it". Another cute moment...a sister moment!

Time for an update!

2008-10-04T08:02:00.000-07:00

It has been quite awhile since I have posted. We have been really busy and Tim has been working a ton of overtime. I finally found some quiet time to sit down and download pictures and blog!

Grace is really liking preschool. She loves her teachers and has made new friends! Here is her first day of school pictures.

Avery started on solids last week and loves them, but is still getting the hang of how to eat! The Dr. said we should start on them since she was eating every 3 hours and still was hungry. This is her first time eating.

Grace loves to help mommy!

Halle, Avery and I are adjusting to Grace being at school. I can tell Halle enjoys time with me and her little sister. Avery wanted to watch Halle color!

And lastly, my Grandma's birthday was on September 30th. No one in the family had been to the cemetery to see the grave. The tombstone had just been installed and my uncle thought it would be a good idea to take my Grandpa out there on her birthday. We had a little memorial service where we shared memories of Grandma. I was glad we were able to be there with my Grandpa. It was hard to be there and it made me miss her more. I decided before I went that I wanted to bring a flower. I did some research and wanted to find a flower that meant "circle of life" or the meaning of her name and Avery's middle name. Margaret means pearl. I went to the flower store and after talking with the lady, we decided to get one carnation and include pearls in it. We put 3 groupings of the pearls in with the carnation. Avery and I headed off to the memorial service with our little carnation. I was glad Avery could be there with us. I decided to take the pearls out when we left. I plan on giving them to each of the girls as a remembrance of their Great-grandma. How special it could be to include those pearls in their weddings.

Give and Take

2008-09-17T11:32:00.000-07:00

We got pregnant with our 3rd child around the time we were going through some tough things. God knew we needed a joy in our life at that time. Little did we know what this little baby would mean to us. I was very close to my Mom's Mom - my Grandma (and am still close to my Grandpa). My Grandma got sick this past December and was in the hospital for a week. She was then sent to a nursing home to go through some physical therapy and she was then going to be sent home if all went well. She took a turn for the worse on the Saturday before Christmas. She was admitted to the hospital and put into the ICU. She knew through all of this that she was dying. The nurses and Dr.'s said she was not, but she was sure that she was. On Sunday, the day before Christmas Eve, Mom got a call saying Grandma was wanting to see her. We left church early and Mom, Lynn, Tim and I all went up to see her. Mom, went in first to see her and then came out and told Lynn and I to go in and say our good-bye's to her. The nurses and Dr.'s still were saying she was not dying, but Grandma knew she was. Lynn and I went back in the room with Mom. We walked through the doors and Grandma said to Lynn and I "your Grandma is dying, girls". Wow...I will never forget those words. We spent he next 15 minuets talking to her telling how much we loved her and would miss her. She brought up memories of Lynn and I. We laughed and we cried. I told her I was sad she would not get to meet this baby. I was 16 weeks pregnant and we had not found out what we were having at that point. I told Grandma that I thought it was a girl, so that is what we would go with. She laughed and said it probably would be! She then asked for Tim. It was a precious moment to be in her room with my Mom, Lynn and my husband saying good-bye to her. God is good. Fast forward to that night - too many details to type out. I got home from our Christmas celebration with my Mom's side of the family and my Mom called to tell me that Grandma had died. Another moment I will never forget. Grandma did know she was dying - wow. I decided to meet the family at my Grandparent's house right after we heard the news. Up to this point in my pregnancy I had felt little flutters from the baby, but nothing that made me really stop and say, wow, that was the baby. We get over to my grandparents and we sit in the living room and start sharing memories of Grandma. As we are sitting there talking, the baby goes crazy and is kicking up a storm. It was the first time I KNEW it was the baby. It was as if God was saying to me "I give and I take away".

Tim and I agreed to find out the sex of the baby at the 20 week ultrasound. We decided to find out and not tell anyone. We did not find out the sex with our first two, so this was new to us. We went to our appointment 3 weeks after Grandma died and we found out we were having our 3rd girl. We were thrilled for many reasons and so thankful she was healthy. Weeks later Tim and I were discussing names and had a couple we liked. We both really like Avery, but couldn't settle on a middle name. One night we started talking about middle names. We use middle names that are after family members. So we listed the names we could use and Tim says what about Margaret - my Grandma's first name. I had never thought to use her name in the past. It then hit me like a ton of bricks - 1.) I told her we were having a girl, and she IS a girl. 2.) I felt the baby move right after she passed away. And 3.) at the funeral, my uncle gave the eulogy and ended with these words "AND SO WE CELEBRATE THE CIRCLE OF LIFE. MOM IS EXPERIENCING TRUE PEACE WITH THE LORD AND LISA IS 4 MONTHS PREGNANT WITH ANOTHER DESCENDANT OF MARGE AND GIL." After talking about all these things, Tim and I knew what her name would be ~ Avery Margaret. My Mom was in the delivery room when she was born and it was such an honor to be able to tell her we named her Avery Margaret. Tears were flowing.

I often look at Avery and wonder what my Grandma would think about her. I envision my Grandma holding Avery in her chair, just like she did with my other two girls.

(Grandma with Halle)

Avery will not know my Grandma and that saddens me more than I would like to admit, but she will carry on her name. What a special little girl Avery is to me. I find myself looking at Avery and reminded of Grandma. It is a constant reminder that God is in control and He does have a plan and a purpose. I am often asked if we were wanting a boy for our third because we already have 2 girls. How it hurts me when I am asked that. We wanted what God wanted for this family. He knew Grandma would die when she did and He knew Avery would be born when she was. He knew she would kick when she did and He knew I would tell Grandma it was a girl. So, did we want a boy? No, we wanted our little Avery Margaret!

Change

2008-09-14T18:45:00.000-07:00

I have been wanting to start this blog for weeks now and haven't been able to come up with a title for it. I finally have it and feel like this title is appropriate for my life. We are in a constant state of change. As I tucked Gracie into bed tonight, and a tear slid down my cheek, I once again was reminded of change. So, I came right to the computer and started my blog. Tomorrow I send my little (big!) girl to preschool. Tim and I can't believe she is old enough for this. Where have the 4 1/2 years gone (almost 5)? I remember having her in the hospital, not realizing what was ahead for us and this little girl. Would we ever get over acid reflux? Would she ever sleep through the night? Would she ever get her first tooth?? (When she was good and ready - 16 months old!) Would she ever listen? Would she stop throwing tantrums and screaming fits? We have made it though a lot of these issues, but there are many we are still working on, and many yet to come. I can say though, she is a sweet, loving, caring little girl. What a blessing she is to this family.

This preschool decision was a quick one for us and it is now hitting me hard! All along we had thought we would home school. Because of this we were not thinking about preschool. We then felt like the Lord was directing us in another direction, and we feel (at this time) homeschooling is not for us. We then talked about preschool last year and decided not to send her this year, for various reasons. It was a decison we thought about, talked about, and prayed about. We both felt not to send her. The day after Labor Day - this year - I felt an unbelievable sense that she needed to be in preschool. I now know it was the Lord directing me. We of course could not get her into the school we thought she should be at. After 2 weeks of looking and knocking on different doors, an opening came up at a school that Gracie's best friend goes too. We went up the next day, looked at it and met her teacher. We made the decision the following day to send her. This is where God wants her, not where I thought she should be, but where He wants her. So, as I say good-bye to her tomorrow, I do it with so many mixed emotions. But, I know it is God's plan and God's timing. His ways are higher than our ways.

Like I said in the beginning, I have been trying to come up with a blog title for weeks. I went to Bible study this past Wednesday and the lady speaking said this year's theme would be around change. It hit me then that this was to be my blog title. Over the last two years, our family has gone through a ton of change. I won't get into it now, but a year ago I was sitting in church and the Lord spoke to me though the song:

"Blessed Be Your Name" -

Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
In the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name

It is was right then and there I chose to say "Blessed be Your Name". I don't understand some of the things we have gone through, but I am comforted in knowing He gives and He takes away. What a blessing this is to me.

Back to preschool - I am so excited for Grace. We love the school and love the teacher. It is such a blessing to us. It is so awesome to me to see Him work! So, as I kiss Gracie good-bye tomorrow morning, I will remember that change is constant. I will remember that this is God's will for our life, and I will remember to say "You give and take away, my heart will choose to say Lord, blessed be your name."