The Red Door

When my Mom and Dad built the house on Pierwood, they were trying to decided which lot they were going to build on. They drove around and noticed a white two-story with a red door. That red door stood out to my Mom and they decided to build next door. Little did we know what this would mean for our family. We became very close with the family behind the red door - The Leeseman's. Mom became friends with Julie and Lynn and I became friends with Sarah. Our families did everything together. They were like a second family to us. After my parent's got divorced, our families bonded more. Julie and chuck helped my Mom out in so many ways. We just all had a special bond. Julie passed away from cancer 3 years ago. She was like a second Mother to Lynn and I. It was hard to see Chuck and the kids go through this. I was thankful that I could walk that road with Sarah.

On Friday night, Sarah and Stacie (Sarah's older sister) and I were at a retreat given by our church. We were to room together that night. Stacie received a call that changed their lives. Their brother had passed away. I won't go into details out of respect for the family. I found myself in the middle of grief and there to walk the road with Sarah. When my parent's divorced, the Leeseman's were there for us in so many ways. It was my turn to be there for them. I never thought a friendship that started 30 years ago could be so strong. My heart hurts for Sarah. I want to take the pain away. I want to make it better for her. I can't. But, I can be there for her and pray for her and her family. I do know this - I watched Sarah lose her Mom. I watched her grieve. I watched her have to face such a tough thing. But, I watched her grieve with dignity and grace. Sarah has grown into a woman who loves her Lord and who serves Him no matter what she goes through. I have no doubt she will make it through this very difficult time. She will once again, turn to her Lord, her Savior and she will let Him heal her. She will also lean on her husband, Dad, Brother, and Sister. I have no doubt she will make it, but my heart still hurts for her.

Sarah - the Lord had a plan when that red door was painted. He knew our families would be knitted together 32 years ago. What an awesome God we serve. To think he orchestrated Friday night the way He did. I could be there for you - Just like your family had been there for us in the hard times we had. I consider it an honor to be your friend. May the peace and comfort of God's love be so Strong over these next couple of days. You know I love you and you know I am here for you.

Please keep the Leeseman, Wylde, and Fischer families in your prayers. The viewing is on Wednesday night and the funeral is on Thursday. They have a tough road ahead, but I know our Lord and Savior will be there every step of the way.

Peanuts....

What is it with peanuts and our family?? I took Halle to the allergist today for her allergy testing and to talk to the Dr. about her asthma. Halle did exceptionally well with the testing. I remember when Grace had it done and it didn't go over so well for her. She cried through the entire process. Not Halle. She teared up a bit while they rubbed the things on her back. After the nurse left, she was nothing but laughs! She and I had the best time in the room waiting for the test to be over with. It is sad to say, but I obviously don't get many one-on-one moments with my girls. I do when we are at the Dr. or the hospital!!! I treasure these moments. I really treasure them with Halle. Halle is a very laid-back girl who plays well alone and doesn't "demand" a lot of my time or attention. Therefore, I feel she gets slided with the one-on-one time. Today was a fun day for me - her and I...laughing with her shirt off waiting for the test to be done! Moments I will not forget. I love our new Dr. and feel comfortable with the plan she has given us. I won't go into details here...too boring. Halle was tested for all kinds of allergies including food. Grace has a serve peanut allergy. I have not given Halle any kinds of nuts because 1. - it is just easier to not with Grace and 2. - There was a higher chance Halle could be allergic too. Well, she is! I guess I shouldn't be surprised! We now will have an epi pen for her as well!! I am okay with all of this, because we have lived this way for so long with Grace. I am glad we made the decision to not give Halle nuts/peanuts up to this point. We avoided one ER trip!!!

First Haircut

Do you think I waited long enough???

There is just something about that first haircut! I know she needed it, but I just wasn't ready! I finally decided it was time because it was in her face all the time! I was feeling really bad for her. I can't put bows in her hair because she pulls them out and thinks they are snacks! She did really well with her first haircut and I am really glad we took her. Her are some pictures of her being a big girl! This is 2 days shy of her 9 month birthday!

And here is the after picture!

Valentine's Day

My Dad called and wanted to take the girls out to lunch on Valentine's Day. He said they could wear dresses and he would take them to Red Robin. The girls were thrilled to go!! They couldn't wait to get ready for their "date". Here they are all dressed up and ready to go!

The girls had a great time and came home with flowers. They were so happy!! They couldn't wait to get them in water!! Thanks PaPa for making their Valentine's Day special!

Stress and Pressure

I haven't posted in a long time because my mind has been elsewhere. I guess I need to back up and explain to get you to understand these last couple of days. When Tim and I had Grace we started talking about homeschooling. We wanted it as an option when the time came. It was at the top of our list. I was more okay with it than Tim, but he too liked the idea. Last year, I started thinking about it again and for many reasons Tim and I decided it was not where the Lord was leading us. We decided to put Grace in preschool. We started our search for our choices for schooling for Grace. I looked into a bunch of different schools and ended up really liking Firm Foundations. It is at our church and it a smaller school with good curriculum. We were excited about it and were praying about it. Enrollment stared on Monday of this week. Tim and I started talking about it a month ago and really wanted to make sure this is what we wanted to do. Three weeks ago, I ran downstairs to get something and noticed the two school desks we had. We had bought both of them from a church for $5. We bought them 2 years ago thinking we would home school. Here I was staring at them. I have seen them before in the basement (since deciding not to home school), but they for some reason were saying to me..."are you sure about your home school decision?". I ignored it and moved on with life. I then found myself e-mailing friends about homeschooling - asking questions. I then started research on the Internet. I couldn't get it out of my mind. This brings us to last weekend.

Tim and I talk and decide homeschooling is a option and it is at the top of the list now. We know we have to make our decision by Monday morning. We think, talk and pray about it all weekend. Going back and forth on what we are going to do. On Sunday night, we sit down for our last talk and Tim says to me - I really feel home school is best for our family and I am really excited about it. I too agreed with him, but was not as excited, because I was scared! We went to bed with peace and was thankful for answered prayer.

I get up on Monday morning and start taking care of the kids and I wigged, I flipped, I freaked, I became a basket case. Not sure I could do it and questioning our decision. I called Tim...he still has peace and was excited about our decision. Me....not so much. We talk off an on all day about it and I am in tears half the day. We get the kids in bed and revisit the subject. We write out the pros and cons of both options. After much dicission, we decide to put her in Firm Foundations. I am numb at this point and have no opinion and Tim knows that. He makes the decision that he feels is best. I support him. On Tuesday morning I told him I would go up to the school and enroll her, but if I felt sick about it, I wasn't. He agreed. I got up there had peace and enrolled her. I thought this was the end of our schooling saga. I should know better...right?

I leave the building with peace, but still kind of numb. I was really okay with her going there. It is a great school and she will be in the same class as her best friend. I get home, get lunch on the table and the girls are busy eating and talking. I find my mind back on homeschooling. Why, Lord??? Why?? Such a roller coaster ride...I can't go up and down anymore. I call Tim and explain I have peace - I am okay with our decision, but still am thinking about homeschooling...why? He understood my concerns and said he was not mad because he too likes the idea of homeschooling.

So this brings us to today. She is still enrolled at the school and I am still okay with it. I will say this, I will be doing research on homeschooling and we are still praying if it is for us. Tim and I both feel like the decision was so deep and so heavy. I wigged, freaked, flipped out and wanted to run from homeschooling because I didn't have all my information and was not comfortable with it all. I also felt so much pressure to make such a big decision with such a short time frame. Deep in my heart of hearts I really do think we will home school. I don't understand why that all took place. I do know Tim and I have grown closer through it. I am amazed at how God has changed Tim's heart and he was so ready to HS and I was the one running!

So stay tuned and pray we have wisdom as to what is right for this family. I really am okay with either one...and so is Tim!

In all of this I am reminded ~ "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

The New Bed and Crawling

A couple of weeks ago, Halle came to me and wanted to know why she was the only one who did not have a big girl bed in the house. Halle sleeps in a toddler bed and Grace in a twin. My heart sank. I felt so bad for her. She told me she wanted a big girl bed. I knew right then I was going to start looking for a bed for her. Tim and I tossed around the idea of bunk beds, and for many reasons decided they were not for us. So, the choices were a twin for Halle or a full for both of them to sleep in. I was leaning towards the twin for Halle, but after measuring everything in their room, the twin would fit, but it would look really awkward in there. To top it off we wouldn't have been able to leave the dresser in there. The room is really big, but with the way the door, window, and closet are placed there are not many options to work with. All that being said, we decided to go with the full bed. They have slept in a full bed before, and did really well with it. We figure if it doesn't work, that bed will eventually go in the spare room down stairs. Tim picked up the mattresses today, but the headboard and footboard are not in yet. Tonight is their first night in their bed together. I can tell Halle feels like a big girl. That makes me so happy! They are in there laughing and talking as I type this. It brings joy to my soul after a long day today!! Here are some pictures of them before we turned the lights off. And now, one of my big Halle girl!! So happy to be in her big girl bed!

I also wanted to add that Avery started crawling today. Today is my Mom's birthday. What a nice treat for my Mom. Avery showed off her new skill tonight for Mom as we celebrated her birthday. I know my Mom missed celebrating her birthday with her Mom today, but what an awesome remembrance of the Lord giving and taking away. Once again I am reminded of my Grandma through Avery Margaret!

Halle is 3!!

Halle turned 3 last Thursday. It was so fun to watch her and listen to her. She understood what was going on and was excited to have a birthday. She was so cute with all of it. For those of you who know Halle, she does not like to be the center of attention. She has gotten better with situations that have a lot of people involved or anything having to do with her. She handled this birthday very well. To top it all off, the poor girl was sick for her party. She still did good with it all! Halle is my sweet little girl who plays good alone and loves to laugh. She really is the ham in our family. I connect with her in a different way and love her for who she is. She often gets lost in the shuffle and I try to be aware of this happening . She really is content to not be made over. So opposite of our first-born! :)

To My Halle Girl,

You are 3!!! Wow - I remember when you were born just like it was yesterday. We were thrilled to find out you were a girl. We knew you and Gracie would be good friends and have tons of fun with each other. I love my sister and am thankful for her. I wanted a sister for Gracie, so you and her could share the same thing Lynn and I have. It is so fun to watch you and her together.

You were in the NICU after you were born and it broke my heart to see you in there. It was a very difficult thing to go through, but we were so happy and blessed to know you would be fine. You came home a week later.

You are my little girl and I love your personality and the way you love life. You are content to be alone and play alone. You sit back and take it all in. I love this about you. You love to laugh and you know how to make me laugh, but you really know how to make Avery laugh. It is so sweet to watch you play with her and make her laugh. You are a great big sister to her!

Daddy and I love you so much. Thank you for the joy and laughter you bring to this home. I thank God for you and pray that you will seek after Him and desire Him with your whole heart. I also pray Daddy and I can be the parents we are supposed to be.

I love you, Halle girl!